last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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