Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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