hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
