that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
