Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
