hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
