you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
