your room smells of hookers.
And success
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
