is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize