The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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