This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
