You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
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