the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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