If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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