I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
