if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
