we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
