I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I will pee on everything he values.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
