I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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