it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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