yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
