ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
