Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
