And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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