Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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