What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I just found puke in my bra..
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
