R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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