Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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