Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
