11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
