physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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