i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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