There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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