I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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