That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
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