I wish I could punch you in the face.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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