Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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