Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
where are my eyebrows?
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