I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I love how my cats smell like pot.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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