I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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