Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
