He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
