It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
