That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
