you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
