Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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