can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
