remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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