it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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