that's an acceptable place to lick
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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