Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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