Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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