I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
