Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
