i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
