your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
