you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
