you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
