I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
