whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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