You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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