I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
